weekend talking

Having a good weekend, doing some chores around house. We are both a little worn out from the week, so Saturday was a lazy day. But, we did do some relaxed talking.

One point that came up was her confusion on the "praise" as she calls it. She seems to think that I need constant reinforcement in terms of "way to go, you are great, you are the best." Kind of like what you would hear at a t-ball game. I tried to explain, that for whatever reason, the reinforcement that I desire is not rooted in that. It is rooted in the mindset that I have chosen to submit to her and that she is able to direct me using that submission as the motive. I don't necessarily want her to just randomly order me around all day. I want situations that flex the Dominant/submissive muscle that is in our relationship. Yes, I enjoy helping out and making her life easier with the mundane tasks, the fun tasks we now do together, trying to please her in little ways.

But, as Ken on Around Her Finger said, ....."The need to be reminded of his submissive role is an integral component of male desire to submit to female authority. It is part of his hardwiring and cannot be short-circuited. In and of itself it accounts for much of the pleasure he derives from being dominated by her. " and .................. "understanding that the psyche of a submissive male is such that it needs reinforcement. This is not to say he needs convincing that his role should be that of the submissive. Not in the least. A submissive male merely wants positive affirmation that he will be dominated and is expected to submit. "

Another wise Lady said "Everyone needs a bit of praise from time to time, but it took me a while in the beginning to realize just how much more intensely words of encouragement and appreciation mean to many submissive fellas. Even more than that, I think, is how much hearing the assertion of my control means."

So, we chat some about how that can happen. Certainly overt sexual things can do that, but it can also manifest itself in non sexual things throughout the day. But, I am having a hard time explaining it in a way that she understands the nature of my mindset in this whole submissive scenario.

So, we enlisted some help with an email, I am thankful she is really trying to understand it and am excited about where we are in our relationship. I am trying hard not to pressure her about it, but to just let her understand the mindset and then she can do whatever she wants. I want to submit to her, I want her to use, perhaps even exploit that submission, but it is not some vision of her I have created that I want her to fulfill. I want it to be her "Domination", not my creation.

So, if anyone has any pearls of wisdom any examples in your relationships, on trying to get her to understand the concept, send them on!!