when we were in the bedroom, she said that it has been about 4 days since my last "release" and that she really wasn't in the mood but she would let me have a release if I wanted. I told her, if it is my choice, I choose not to tonight. She had a hard time understanding. I told her, in a perfect world, I would love to be able to give her a release every night and she give me one every 4-5 days. She said that is contrary to everything I have said in all the years of our marriage. It is true, I understand how she can be confused.
So, last night turned into an hour long conversation. she still thinks I am trying to manufacture some kinkiness, she recognizes she is "vanilla," but does not think that is a problem. I agree, it is not a problem, I told her I want her to be the most she can be, this whole lifestyle is about her being just that. I don't want her to be something she is not, I want to submit to her in all her personal glory, but it does take some action on her part. I told her she just doesn't understand the whole dynamic of it, she says she does understand and that I just say she doesn't understand because she is not doing it the way I want her to. Maybe she is right, I really don't think so, but am trying to reflect personally on my end to try.
Again, she is a great person, is trying and we just have to realize that it is a work in progress and she is working at it and I am thankful for that, so all is good.
Happy July 4th
3 years ago
2 comments:
Nice, open, honest blog. I enjoyed reading so far.
I know you're frustrated at times, but in looking back through what you've written you seem to have the right idea. Be patient - changing how we think takes time when we want to change and right now she's not sure she does.
Being dominant is not a passive role and sometimes it is a bit overwhelming to those who are new to the concept. (It's not just sitting back and accepting the service of the submissive.) It is work. A Domme has to be on top of her mental game all the time - making certain she is aware of not only what is going on inside her mind but also in that of her submissive's. It requires creativity, often some planning, and recognizing and taking care to meet the needs of her submissive (which, sometimes are many).
I think your on the right track, but you might try and just focus on asking Her what you can do for Her and immediately responding, and too a greater degree than She asked for if possible. Let Her see from your actions how much you truly enjoy serving her and that might help her to develop into a dominant.
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