ramblings

One of the things that I have read and have mentioned to her, that we think is really a stretch, is the notion that women, just by virtue of their sex, are better than men. I think a lot of women particularly do not agree with this assessment, certainly my wife. It devalues her if she thinks she married someone that does not measure up to an ideal that she set for a husband. If she thought I was a bum (which, by the way, most times I am), she never would have married me. Further, how does one describe the definition of "better," what makes one sex better than the other, what makes one person better than the other? The definitions really are not measure able, so it becomes a moot argument. If you drew a line down the middle of a piece of paper and put strengths on one side and weaknesses on the other, then maybe one can make a comparison. Based on that comparison, I do believe that my wife is "better" than me because I believe that her "net" between her strengths and weaknesses are higher than my net. But, I do not necessarily think that it is because she is simply a woman and I a man. My "net" is pretty high also, I betcha I am "better" than alot of women I know and it wouldn't surprise me if many men had a higher "net" than my wife. But, where the rubber hits the road, in our relationship, is that fortunately alot of her strengths are where I have weaknesses and alot of my strengths are where she has weaknesses. Unfortunately, it took me 20 years of being in charge for me to understand that a Loving Female Led relationship, for us, maximizes the combination of the two of us. It makes the two of us together greater than the sum of the two of us. I was in charge for 20 years and screwed things up. Dr. Phil says the best predictor of future events is past events. So, trying to be a wise person, evaluating the past, just like we do in business, the realization is clear that she needs to run the household, we will be better off in another 20 years if she is running things instead of me. Does that make me a wimp to let her lead, don't think so, it makes me wise I think. By looking at all the variables and coming to a prudent conclusion, we have a sound plan for the future. Now, all I have to do is convince her!!! This is not exactly the marriage model we grew up believing.

Embracing the inherent differences in women and men, one comes to this understanding. If a man is leading a woman, the woman does not want to "feel" like she is being led, but that she is coerced to come to the same decision as the man. She doesn't want to be told what we as a couple are doing, she wants to be nudged into the same decision that the man has already made in his head. Actually, most men will make the decision regardless of whether the woman has objections, because why, he is the boss. And just like in business, a boss lots of times is on "an island" and has to make alot of the hard decisions by himself. regardless of input from those underneath him. That is the way we guys are, .......we follow orders and give orders,.............. is really cut and dry, not much room for interaction from anyone. Is that strength of men? I don't think so, I think a wise man does try to gain insight from others in an important decision, but most of us are not sensitive to this concept.

When a woman leads, she seeks input from others, wants a consensus. She can make the hard decisions, ones she knows will not please everyone, she knows the buck stops with her, but she does try and get involvement.

So, when I, as a man, seek to submit to my wife, I want to do it in an authoritative kind of way. Your the boss, I will give you input if you ask for it, but at the end of the day, your the boss and my job is to do what you say and to make you look good..... Period...... Whats next. ..That is why the verbal ques that Lady Julia was talking about are so important to a guy. We don't want to be nudged, we feel better when things are direct and straightforward. We want our boss (in this instance our wife) to know that we are obedient, loyal soldiers in our army. I will give you my input on matters because I think I have valuable insights, but, at the end of the day, I have chosen personally for you to be the leader...........I know you will make bad decisions but I also know you will make good decisions and ultimately, we will be in a better position when all is said and done.

The kicker though is this. Whereas in a typical business situation, the submissive is paid by the boss in dollars. You get a paycheck. That makes it all worthwhile. Unfortunately, some women, including my wife right now, do not understand that the compensation for me submitting to my boss (her) is not dollar currency, but sexual currency. The more you exploit, use, command, tease, spank us, especially from, but not necessarily limited to, a sexual standpoint, the more we will follow your lead. Hey, I know that we men are pigs, but that is the payoff. Further, we would rather be paid a little bit, all the time, instead of a lot at one time. Exploiting us several times a day for a week is better than nothing all week followed by a great sexual session on Friday night. We definitely want the big session, but also crave the little ones along the way.

I married her for alot of reasons, but one of the reasons is I think she is the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world. No other woman can get me going like her. She consumes my sexual imagination. But, she also hides it from me, doesn't use it for or against me, she thinks that she can only bring out that tiger sporadically, that good girls do not overtly exercise that mindset. But, and I have mentioned this to her before, whether she thinks it is out there or not, her sexiness is out there anyway, even when she doesn't think she is exercising it. Last night, our 18 year old daughter came in with a girlfriend of hers, We were at our sons school ball game and the girlfriend mentioned that John, an 18 year old friend of theirs, thought my wife was "hot." I have mentioned to her many times that she has infamous "it." Now, oc course "it" is hard to define, but she definitely has "it." People are drawn to her, with and without her sexualness. But she suppresses, for whatever reason, her sexualness, especially with me. An example, when she showers in the morning, I am usually around. I get up earlier and am up and running, but I am a pig and I like to go in when she is getting ready, I like to see her naked body, I love to see her blow drying her hair, putting on makeup, lipstick, etc. But, when I am in there, she thinks nothing sexual, she is just getting ready for work and just happens to be naked, it's just a part of life to her.......I mean, to her, she has to get ready for work! what is the big deal? I would love for her to say, "come blow dry my hair," knowing that it is a sexual turn on for me, while all the time I am blow drying, she has a wandering hand that is groping my crotch and playing with my nipples, telling me the whole time how she knows that I am pussy whipped by her and she loves just teasing me. Multiply that type of thing a couple times a day, and that is the currency that we want to be paid in. Know it sounds stupid, but it is the truth, I think anyway.

She still hasn't mentioned reading the blog again, will not make a hint, want her to want it.

Sorry for long winded diatribe. Not meaning all is not good, all is, she is engaged I am just trying to seduce her dominance by my submission.

She put her lipstick and sunglasses on inside before she went to the car. She looked so good I almost lost it! She probably doesn't even know the effect it had on me. Imagine if she did and did that knowing and commenting on how lucky I was to have such a "hot" wife!! ....... that would be something!