Friday, December 26, 2008

Holidays!!

Well, the past couple of weeks have been really busy, with some personal issues and Christmas, we have been just exhausted almost every day. But Christmas yesterday was a lot of fun, most of family around, just had a great time with everyone.

Our FLR has simmered down. I don't like saying it but for the first time in a long while I just haven't felt submissive. So I haven't really shown her any "respect" as it were. I do still try to do most of the things that are just helpful from one spouse to another and I don't think she has felt any reduction of help. But the emotional end where I usually make a point of showing my allegiance every day just hasn't been there. And it apparently doesn't matter to her. She has yet to assert herself when I do not act like I should. And of late, what is wierd is I haven't cared if she did or not. So I wonder if when things settle down she will ramp up her expectations of me back to where it was or if I will just go back to it myself. My guess is the latter. I don't think my submissive light went out. It just went way down. But I feel it is getting brighter again. And she has been buried with work and Christmas and such. So it is not fair for me to point the finger at her, which I am not. Sometimes I feel dumb ramping up my submissiveness to her when she doesn't extract it. But I think that will happen before she decides to assert herself and reclaim her position of authority. I think it is who I am.....

Sunday, December 14, 2008

still moving

Yes I am still around. We have had a real busy couple of weeks. I do have some ebb and flow with my day to day submission but I never think that I will ever revert back to not being a submissive guy. I think it is part of who I am and I suppose it is about how much my wife wants to draw that out of me is the speed we go. She is not into correcting or polishing or leading my submissiveness to suit her. She just kind of goes with the flow, it is something I have to get used to. I want to be her helpmate, to make her the focus of our relationship, even to others.

No girls nights of late.

I find it is hard to think up things to say on this blog. I check it daily for comments and keep up with other blogs and enjoy reading and learning from them.

So if there is a topic you want me to share my thoughts let me know. I would love to be consisitent on journaling but run out of things worthy enough to spend the time her to document.

So, suggestions from Ladies or men for topics?