Interesting FLR Philosophy on another Board.......

A fellow asks.......

Thank you for this post. My wife are in the process of starting up a FLR. She likes to be in control but hates all words and concepts which sound like D/s or S&M. She associates dominance with domineering and does not want to be called dominant or domme. She does not want to be pushed in a format or mould. I would love to have her use her power/control more, but if I suggest that she gets angry and complains that I am pushing her. Which, I cannot deny is true. As a male who is trained to think in concepts I do focus on my understanding of the relationship dynamics. I long that she uses her power more, physical punishments or reminders when She deems necessary and dares to use her sexuality as well to wind me around her finger. I am clueless why many women like to start with FLR but are resistant to take it to the next level. As a former dominant I know how fulfilling and exciting power can be.

A Wise Woman responds......

I did struggle with this idea for the longest time though. What helped me make it click was "Venus on Top" and another book that I was reading on chakras. What these books did was break it down for me into logical terms that I could understand. The final picture that was painted for me was that women and men use their brain differently. Men use action, women use thought. We process differently. Women have the ability to see the grey, while men see the task. In a relationship, there is nothing but grey. It is like a dance. Men see feet moving in a specific pattern, women see the sway of a person's hips, the joy in their step; the soul coming out to show the world all it's glory; the music coming to life. These are skills that make it easier for women to guide and nurture a household. A relationship, any relationship, is about bringing out the best of people. It is about managing people's characteristics so they can experience the most joy in life or deal with the worst tragedies so they can get back to that joy. Is that not the purpose of life: to live it with joy? The ability to do that is what women are raised to do, it is our biological make up to do that. FLR just takes this to a different level. It is the place for people who have that need to be that "primitive" in their life. Boil it down to it's lowest common denominator: Men need tasks to do, it is where they feel the safest/most comfortable and if correction needs to be done, they gladly accept and actually crave it, it fits their "male" psyche. Women need to think, it is where they feel safest/most comfortable. So the woman thinks, gives the man his tasks, corrects or asserts to reaffirm Her leadership and his submission, and all runs smoothly. Because society has pushed this concept so far away from most of us, I feel that men need the hard pushes to over come the hard pushes to not be this way. They need the hard constant reminders that they are safe and living within their comfort zone. Society is harsh on male dominance, so balance has to be met with harsh push to submission. It is done by each Lady's particular brand of Her own dominance, one of "being" dominant, not just "acting" dominant, as well as making the dynamic accountable to the sub in ways he naturally understands and is comfortable with, namely verbal and yes physcial. Balance is the key. For instance, I am not a man, I do not know why pet not only wants me, but needs me to spank him. It took me a long time to understand that he processes things in a different way than I do. But he submits and strives to make my life better in ways that are somewhat foreign to him and natural to me.... and I should also recognize our differences and do the same for him. That doesn't mean that I have to spank him, in fact I really thought I never would. It took quite a while before I actually did (now he wishes I never did!), but understanding that he processes things differently has helped me in becoming more dominant in my own way since I now know he does need it.

interesting thoughts?????

my Beautiful Wife does read "Herbuddy" but hasn't chosen to post anything yet.

things going well!!

We were at store, She need some perfume. As standing in aisle, she sprays one on her arm to smell, puts it up. Does another on other arm, puts it up. Says, "I have ran out of arms to try." I raised my arms quietly as she grabbed another and sprayed on my arm to smell. "Not sure." Grabs another sample, does my other arm. After some time decides. I told Her, "Don't get wrong idea, but I love having your perfume on, it means I can smell you all day." She just kinda looks at me and says, "Okay." What is neat is I think She understands.

When we got home, She wanted me to trim her hair, which I have done for a long time, but......I like to do it naked. On drive home, I inferred that we would need to lock doors for me to trim. But as we arrived, I mentioned to Her that if She did not want me naked, I would do it clothed as I did not want to assume or make Her uncomfortable. She said, "No, you can do it naked." However, as I was surveying her hair, the last stylist She went to actually did layers and I said that I think that maybe She needed to get someone else to do it as I thought it exceeded my skill level and the last thing I wanted to do was mess it up.

She said okay, now it is your turn. She had bought some nair for my back. Don't get wrong idea, I am not a hairy bear or anything but She likes my back to be smooth. So, She started putting the smelly stuff on my back. She then told me to turn around. She had never done my front before but She started applying it on sides to artfully create the old hair between pecs down to groin area strip, but everything else smooth. I felt immediate submission, She was now using me to create something She liked, not just getting it off the back. I felt owned by Her, Her property that She was pruning. It was wonderful.

I wrote the last post about Her being in the chair about 3 weeks ago, hoping She would sometime read it, but, alas, hasn't happened. So I asked if She would like to read the blog to which She said yes. So, I got her the laptop and put it on Her chair to start reading. As She started, I moved around the house checking on kids, locking doors, turning out lights etc. When I returned, She was in Her chair reading. I quietly put on some soft music and just sat down next to Her. She said she wanted lotion and I started putting it on Her legs. I was in front of Her on the floor, She could not see me because the laptop was blocking Her view. She said, "Seems like you have become a good little Femdom fiction writer." I wanted to say, that I wish it wasn't fiction, but held my tongue, just muttered yes. After the lotion, I started softly kissing her legs, from the knee down to foot and back again as She read. This went on for about 30 minutes, She never actually saw me, I was totally Her servant. She called today to say how nice it was that I was kissing her legs while She was reading and that we went to bed without Her thinking She needed to "pay me back" for the kindness. As we were in bed I asked if She were happy with our new FLR. She said it was different but that yes She was happy and wanted it to continue...............Yay!!