A question posed by a commenter asked if my Wife was aware of my blog. The answer is yes, she is aware and does stay current and reads it.
She has a blog of her own that She just started that is listed to the right titled "The Mask." In talking we decided that it might be good for Her to start one of Her own and that perhaps people could make comments as She is learning to grow as My Dom as I learn to grow as Her sub.
In fact She has posed a question in Her blog that I think it interesting to all in a FLM. She even asked me if I was disappointed in Her post. The answer is no. I am not sure She is fully aware yet that my desire it to serve Her completely. But, and I may be wrong, I still think She equates the the "kinky sex" with too much weight. I do wish She would exhibit more dominant behaviour but 90% has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with accepting my gift of submission, requiring my obedience and expecting and correcting behaviour that is not acceptable. None of that includes sex. It is a need to serve, a need to put Her on a pedastal and for Her to comfortably accept, enjoy and require that I provide that in a fashion that is pleasurable to Her, correcting and guiding me as we go. I am not asking for role play. I want it real. She has so much charisma and instincts but for some reason I must seem to stifle it when all I want is for it to emerge fully and naturally and for me to be a helper if necessary in Her feeling comfortable enough to do that.
In writing this blog, it is wierd. I want to be able to write just whatever is in my head, the good, bad and ugly. But the risk is that with Her reading and staying current with this blog and it dovetailing with Her blog, it appears that I am trying to script the whole thing. I am not, I really believe that.
But it is a fine line to write what you are feeling about the one you love in a fashion of free, anonymous type expression but to also know they are reading it. I have come to the conclusion that as my Dominant partner, I will just write it with my heart and let the chips fall where they may. This is a situation, though I didn't think of it this way exactly in regards to blogging, that I considered before I approached Her with the thoughts on my being submissive to Her. I knew that there would be some situations where I would have to be totally transparent even if She were to see the transparency.
So I will continue writing the blog with the intent of just writing my heartfelt opinions in a quasi anonymous fashion without trying to clandestinely prompting Her specific Dominant behaviour.
Kind of tough. I am not ashamed to be transparent to Her even though I would not tell anyone in the entire world, but Her, what is deep within me. I love Her and divulging yourself entirely is something I guess which is a catch-22 in love, you want to but at the same time you are scared to.
Hey we are communicating, that must be a good thing.......( I HOPE)
Happy July 4th
3 years ago
4 comments:
Personally, I think it's better if you don't think about your wife reading your blog, that way you won't perceive the blog as a conduit of communication between yourselves and then expect some kind of response from her – such as a post in her own blog, a comment to your blog, or a reaction at home, in real-time.
I like to think that there are thousands of readers of my blog but only a chance that my wife is one of them. Otherwise it becomes sort of like communicating through your pet, if you know what I mean.
I think there is a lot of value in flr's but please don't put your wife on a pedestal, what an uncomfortable place for her to be perched. Would you enjoy it if someone put you up in such an exalted place without room for movement?
She's a woman, richly endowed with plenty of characteristics that you admire and love but acknowledge that she is human and also has behaviours that are less than perfect.
Thank you Miss AJ. We have had conversations in regards to that. I know she isnt perfect but my decision to submit to her takes that into account. She will make mistakes but it is our belief that she has better instincts and as such she makes all the rules and I obey. If she makes a mistake it is just part of the bargain, I am not keeping score and I hope she isnt either.
As far as putting her on a pedastal, I am guilty of that. But I think she is now seeing that it is a constructive thing. I dont think she feels pressured and we have had talks about how my service should be in ways that truly make her life more enjoyable, not just things that keep me busy for busy sake. I do hope we are getting there.
I am not really the person to give you advice, since my wife insists on approving my posts on my blog. But given that, I belive that you should have a way of expressing your feelings, and not be punished for them. If your blog is the forum for that, than so be it.
I understand that your wife may not agree with all. That is the way of life, and that is what creates great opportunities to mold you into what she wants. Nevertheless, you must be allowed to express your feelings. If she disagrees with them, that is not entirely your problem, but hers too. You would have to work on that together.
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