I need to find some balance. In the days that it seems like we are trying to work at this, I find myself so "addicted" to her that I almost make it an obsession. All I want to do is touch her, caress her, stoke her hair. I love to sit on the floor while she is on the couch or in a chair, I would love for her to tell me to do that, to kneel in front of her, to overtly use her "dominion" over me, but she is not comfortable with that. I am like a pathetic puppy dog, following her, wanting to be near her, wanting her to use that attention for her whim or pleasure, whether emotional or physical. But, as she has said, I am crowding her space so much she can't breathe. The poor Lady has trouble getting to sleep because all I want to do is spoon, lightly rub her back, run my hands through her hair. I could do it all night but when she shuts down, she wants to go to sleep. So, she sometimes has trouble differentiating my devotion to her versus an obsession for her and that sometimes makes her squeamish.
I don't know how to be totally devoted to her without being so in her face that I crowd her and make her feel claustrophobic.
Happy July 4th
3 years ago
2 comments:
Sitting on the floor is almost insanely wonderful. I'm sorry that isn't working out for you.
If your craving for devotion is interfering with her enjoyment of you as a lover - the simple acts of touching you mention - perhaps you could back off some.
If the LFA dynamic is ever to be achieved - and not all women will accept that I fear - she has to see it as a part of the romance and not just a fetish.
Hi amigo, while to you the devotion you have is sweet and touching, to her it may be crowding. and at times annoying and/or creepy.
The key is NOT doing what YOU like to do to show your adoration and devotion to her.
Its finding what SHE receioves the feelign of being adored and pampered by, and doing lots of that.
to clarify one point, in my view of D/s there is nothing wrong with asking her for a somewhat regualr or set amoutn of time periodically so you can do the things you like that are submissive.
Just remember, her needs/wants first, at least most of the time.
AND
If it does not meet her needs or satisfy her emotionally or physically, its not a gift to her.
Just my thoughts, I wash you well, OldBear.
ps she may still want large parts of your behavior and life to not be overtly submissive. I ant had time to read your blog fully, but this desire is common.
IF IF so, be wise, and go along with it!
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