It has occurred to me, just recently as sometimes I am not too fast, that the intimacy between a couple is so much more real in this type of relationship. Most times, the physical dynamic of a husband and wife is something that is always the big elephant in the room. For over twenty years, I have wondered most minutes of each day, if we were going to have sex. Heck, I'm a guy, so my thought process is.......are we going to have sex.....can we have sex.....what do I need to do to have sex.......what should I say......what do you want to hear.......c'mon, you said we were going to........what do you mean you don't want to..........that's unfair.......etc., etc. No apologies here, just kind of the way we guys are I suppose.
But, now, since restructuring the physical challenge, putting the "elephant" in it's proper perspective, we now make the physical a supporting part of our relationship.....it now supports the emotional element, .....it is no longer a rival to the emotional element. It is tremendously more intimate.
Okay, yes, I am a scuzzy guy, I do want alot of kinks and I would love for her to be as kinky as me (probably not possible!). But, the fact is, though I did in the past, but not without a certain amount of genuineness, she is now truly my friend, my confidant, my support, my lover. I care about who she is as a person, I want to be a help for her to become a better person, I listen like I never have before, I talk more freely than I ever have before, I look forward to seeing her, I like spending time with her, I truly enjoy when she is happy whether I had anything to do with it or not. The difference is that I believe she has thought that of me all along, but, well, I just couldn't get there and frankly, there is alot of time that I let squander because of that.
So, though both are wonderful for sure, I enjoy our intimacy, our closeness, our connection, now more than the sex. Not that I want to do away with the sex, but the closeness is soo good!
P.S. please don't tell anyone, it will ruin my image!
Happy July 4th
3 years ago
2 comments:
Hi bud,
Well I finally got around to being able to comment. I really love this post. For so many years my marriage also had that elephant in the room. Now the elephant is dead and the sex and love have intertwined. Don't worry about your image, just worry about the love.
Great post.
Very, very, very well said. This is exactly what took place in my first marriage of over 20 years, and unfortunately carried over (to a lesser degree) into my second relationship to Goddess V. This was before we embarked on our journey into FemDom. Thankfully, all the elephants, of sex and other issues, are back in Africa where they belong!
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