been a while

still marching forward, life is complicated right now and tough to stay consistent on the blog. I am trying hard to really try and do things Her way. She is engaged, just not at warp speed like me I suppose. Sometimes makes for frusteration but chalk it up to it being a process.

My Wife, I assume as well as many other Women, were raised to believe that men played the Dominant part. They saw it on tv, in their parents relationship, books, movies, etc. What I am asking my Wife to do is to adjust everything She has been taught over the years and to do a sort of role reversal. I assume that it must be an odd and at times difficult feeling for my Wife to all of a sudden see me as under Her gudiance. I am sure She has asked Herself a thousand times if Her husband really want this, or if She can actually do it.

A Lady said in another forum the following and I would bet my Wife feels the same:
I struggle with the equality thing. I can't understand for the life of my why any of you strong intelligent men would want to give up complete control to the level you do. I used to feel like I was taking away his rights if I took complete control. I have actually just recently (Friday) realized that I am not taking those rights away, he is giving them to me. I can imagine your wife feeling this way as well. That she is taking away part of who you are. Or she is being a hypocrite if she controls you but would not tolerate that towards her.

But, that is not the case, She is not a hypocrite because it is something I want to be treated as, not treat her that way.

It is hard to put into real words the feeling I have for wanting to submit to my wife. This desire I have is very real and runs very deep. I want to be controlled for Her bidding. I want Her to feel free to be harsh with me when I need it. I want to be punished for what I have done wrong and made to correct it. I want Her to be free enough to take pleasure in my submissiveness to Her. To enjoy the fact that I would kneel before her. To know that the things I do for Her, though seem selfish to Her, are not, because I really enjoy both doing and the fact that She can be selfish regarding physcial pleasure. But I also desire to be loved and wanted by Her, and to feel good about the things I do to serve Her. I hope the fact that I want to be viewed and treated this way can somehow make it more palatable to a Woman who has only known the opposite for so many years.

There are times that the submissiveness I feel is very strong. Yesterday, as She was watching tv, I just came in, asked if I could untie Her shoes with lotion in my hand. I sat on the floor and lovingly applied lotion to both feet. My mind was in my fingers, my love was in each rub, flowing through my fingertips. The pleasure of the massage feels good to Her but She does not sense how this submissive act can feel so rewarding to me. Instead of reveling in the pleasure, She started asking me questions about my day. Kind of a, you are doing something nice for me I must do something nice for you, kind of mentality. I would love if She would sense my submissiveness and stroke it with Her dominance during those times. That would be pleasureable for me, not feeling guilty that I am providing pleasure for Her. I told Her later on that the "giving of pleasure" to Her, even erotically, is a gift to me in and of itself. It would be complete if She reveled in it, pushed me into a deeper level of submissiveness, told me how She likes it, that She expects it, that She knows that She is in total authority over me during these times. The verbal is important to me but She has not gotten to the point where it is comfortable yet. She sees an inequality. I am being nice to Her so She must be nice to me. But the converse is true.

The dynamic that is a WLM is complex. At times overwhelming and other times mundane. I guess all men who submit to their Wives long for the firm Dominance of their spouse. I repeat what I have stated in previous posts which is the need for patience. But the need to be led, controlled and submissive is sometimes even greater. Unfortunately I am a jump right in sort of guy. Full bore all the way and that can cause frustration. I will not give up on this though. Not as long as my Wife is at least willing to try to be Dominant. I feel this can be a great life for the both of us.