Still here!!!

Wow, didn't realize it had been so long. I have noticed a few blogs going down because the fellas don't seem to be getting what they want. I have a theory that it is because they pressed too hard too fast. It is amazing to me how I can clearly see the benefits of FLR for the Lady, but somehow, it takes a while for the Lady to see it. For us, it took almost two years for Her to realize that my desire to submit was not entirely about the sex. I truly wanted to make Her happy and it took that long for Her to understand that by allowing me to submit to Her, it actually did make me happy.

For the most part, these two years of getting to where She is comfortable has been easy for me. My submission is not hard, I believe I am that innately so it has been more of a freedom for me to submit. The time it took for Her to see this and not be threatened, though I wish it would have come sooner, was not bad. To be able to give Her the necessary time to be comfortable is worth it. That is why I think some of the fellow blogger guys have missed the mark. Each Woman is different, but it takes time and when the Women feel pressured on a relationship ideal such as this, they retreat. Again, men and Women are different and relationship things to a Woman are incredibly important and just because I kept telling my Wife early on that She would enjoy FLR, She could not get over the hump until She had reconciled it for Herself in Her own time.

So, we are a full fledged FLR marriage. In fact, a month ago, out of the blue, She asked me if i wanted to do a formal agreement. i said yes. So we crafted up an agreement, did it between ourselves, at the end I knelt in front of Her and she placed a necklace on me as a symbol. Up to that time, I had told Her how important it was, for me anyway, to formalize it. She had felt uncomfortable with it, so i let it go. Then, surprise, surprise, She brought it up when I had no idea She was thinking about it. Now that we have done that, I no longer feel like it is an "on and off again" game for Her. It is concrete now, no ambiguity. And I am content and I believe She is too.

She is now reading some Mama Gena books. She is at the point of figuring out that the last 20 years have been about the kids and Her "wifely" function of standing behind Her man. Now She is finding out that seeking pleasure for Herself is not a selfish, uncaring motive but actually a worthwhile endeavor. When She is happy, She makes everyone around Her happy. She is a happiness magnet. And I am not just talking about immediate family. She can light up a coffee shop of patrons just by Her charisma.

That doesn't mean that every day is "over the top." In fact, most days are mundane. But it is like a screensaver on a computer. It is always running, most times in the background, but it can be brought forward.

I have asked Her if She is happy. She says She is. I asked Her what about our FLR makes Her happy. She said:

1. She loves the intimacy now. We talk alot and I no longer guard what i say, i am genuine, even when it reveals something less than ideal on my part.
2. She loves that i am Her number 1 cheerleader. She loves that i am genuinely happy when She succeeds at something and more so when i was able to help her.
3. She loves that sex now is not a "wifely duty." But one She is in charge. That doesn't mean that we have now unleashed a Tigress that has been dormant all these years. When in the mood, She has always been a Tigress. It just means that it no longer is a burden for Her.

There are more, I can't think of right now. But, net result, we are happy. This is not contrived, She is not faking it just to satisfy me. She is, each day, getting more comfortable in Her position in our Marriage. I wish She would exercise Her authority more, but it is okay, She is doing it now anyway and as time passes, it becomes easier for Her.

So, I do believe that it is possible for any couple to adopt this formally. I would have bet the farm that initially She never would have gone for this. But, all marriages have a game plan of some sort. This is just ours. It works because it values both of us and uses both of our individual talents to strengthen our relationship.

Ours is a success story. I will try and stay more current with the blog.