random thoughts

I don't know why, but using very good verbal manners with her feels right. I didn't know why but I think another blogger said it best, "Learn the language of submission." I have been doing it a long time before I read that, some toungue in cheek with her, others just trying to be mannerly. "May I say ....," "Do you mind if....," "Would you prefer....," It comes very naturally to me, so much so, that sometimes she thinks it is over the top and I am egging her on. But really, I'm not. I really enjoy showing her the respect of good conversation manners.

She actually advanced in her job her recently. I told her everyone is seeing what I already knew, that she is very capable and they should trust her insight, as I am trying to do. I picked her up at lunchtime and ran a couple of errands with her. When we were done, I told her I must be her "Executive Assistant." I liked the analogy greatly, she wanted to shoot me, but I think she did enjoy that I was sincerely proud of her accomplishments, which I am.

The other night, we were intimate, though she did not really want anything proactive done with herself. She wanted me to release in a fun way and as usual, I asked the question, "do you want me to because you think that is what I want you to say or do you really want me to because that is what you want?" I am struck most times by obviously wanting to release versus the fun feeling of being on edge and not coming. She said, "Heres the deal, I am tired of you asking the same question, here is what we are going to do. When we are intimate, always assume that I want you to come, work you way toward that, don't hold back, but when you get close, ask me if you can and I will tell you whether you can or not." Perfect negotiation, now I don't have to wonder whether I should pace myself, just "get after it," but she still has the control on deciding if it happens. I love the arrangement, though I know it will turn into one of those "be careful what you wish for" things, I don't think she has any problem stopping me.

:)