Three Day Weekend

Well, not really. But we did have a nice weekend, it was our anniversary, been over 20 years. On one hand seems like forever, on the other, seems like yesterday. Saturday had a good day, stuff in morning and then the kids were out and about and we had the afternoon and evening by ourselves. Had lazy early dinner around 4 at restaurant. Had some engaged conversation, was good. She says that if she chooses to do it, it should be her way only and I totally agree, she says I must be "topping from the bottom." But she skirts around "formally" taking control, hasn't said that this is now definitely in place. Now I know some of our Lady friends out there will take this opportunity to rake me over the coals, but, to me, I don't know why, but I need it formal. Not a contract or anything, but something clear and undeniable about our roles of her taking the lead and me choosing to follow. For some reason I cannot explain, it is vital to me that it is crystal clear. I can be submissive in whatever way she chooses to frame the dynamic, to not "top" from below, but the formality is so crucial. I asked her if she would consider writing down what she would want if she chose to formally become the leader and share it with me to confirm our roles. I know it sound like I am orchestrating everything, but I don't think I am, well, obviously I guess I am, but only to the formality of things, that's all I need.

Monday, she was off work, we did some things in morning and then had early lunch. We had options of different things after lunch, needed to get back to work but had to run some errands. I suggested a game plan of how to accomplish, she said not lets do it this way. I said okay and we did it her way. When we finally went to bed, we both mentioned how much we enjoyed hanging out together. She let me put lotion on her while she finished watching news. When she turned off news, I offered to do her entire body and she said okay. She laid on her stomach and I lazily put lotion on her entire body and followed up with light kisses from head to toe and back again. I told her that I could do this for another hour but I knew she needed her sleep and I should stop. She said it felt so good I could do it for another hour. I was, for whatever reason, in, probably what I have read as subspace, I was just totally overwhelmed with what I was doing, almost in a zone. Eventually even fell asleep almost on top of her before we woke up and I got up and got under the covers. It was so nice, so intimately close, for both of us.